Morning 💗. Happy Friday!
How to rebuild #trust on #teams tip #video lnkd.in/bPt6KWv via @YouTube lnkd.in/dKq97wE
The good news: humility isn't weak. bit.ly/11Z57C4 8 Strengths of Humility
"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." Aesop ow.ly/i/5goHl ow.ly/i/5goNe
Friends are angels who lift our feet when our own wings have trouble remembering how to fly. #quote
Are you all about forgiveness ? Because forgiveness is all about you.
It has nothing to do with the people that hurt you, the things they took from you, or forgetting they lied to you, cheated on you, and manipulated you.
Other people may be long gone, out of your life, dead or worse. Forgiveness is about releasing the anger resentment blame ill will loss vengeance victimhood and poor me-ness that slowly eats away at the heart of well being and esteem that transgressors couldn't care less about. Who you hurting?
Alternatively, the juicy pay off of withholding to get them back, the false power of screwing with them , the control of making them pay, simple revenge or all out war all work to keep the righteous pain as your badge of honor for being right, being principled, being put upon, look what they did to me, feel sorry for me, flimsy pleasures that hide the gnawing hole you cannot even see to start filling in.
Letting go, surrendering, giving it up are not passive acts of defeat rather positive acts of accepting and admitting responsibility for the truly felt despair in order to be free. To drop being a victim you have to confront the wound of betrayal, face your humanness of being wronged, humbly accept your mistaken trust. The opposite of denial and suppression is not wallowing but sitting stoically allows the painful truth to be what it is as the only way to let it burn off.
Burn off? Yes all thoughts and emotions are physically felt sensations of energy in the body, positive and negative. Both anger and joy are experienced as rage and bliss only known by the hold they enact on the biology. Each time the mind reacts to these impulses over a lifetime it deepens the grooves that record the habit patterns of our personality neurosis and suffering.
Since most of your mind activity is subconscious so the sensations are mostly out of waking awareness. Saying I forgave, I'm long over it, I don't think about it, belies an ocean of swirling resentment beyond everyday perception. The volcano of scars that actually exist at depth are only known by way of the next accidental idiot or more wisely, quiet contemplation and mindfulness.
Forgiving people has nothing to do with confronting others, allowing them to continue to hurt you, easing their guilt, doing the right thing or forgetting what happened. It has only to do with facing the acrimony within and like a good cry allow years of raging inferno release, lifetimes of sadness to pour out, and being ok with your animal condition that only by watching mindfully, observing equanimously without adding more fuel to the fire, witnessing peacefully without editorial blather, enduring a necessary misery that relieves you of a future of unnecessary suffering and injury years and levels beyond the actual insult.
You are only done when nothing ignites the same emotions, like it happened to someone else a lifetime ago. No matter what you decide on the future relationship, forgiveness is only about purifying your heart and mind of negativity where no one or nothing can possibly steal your peace of mind because you have emptied the mind of the fight.
They can burn in hell if they want but forgiveness is all about you.
Dr. Gary Ratson, MD, is an integrative eye physician who sees his patients through a lens of science psychology and spirituality. With experience in sport medicine, eastern healing traditions and various meditative techniques, Dr. Ratson focuses on the patients consciousness as the source of healing.